Duck: The Complete Story

Chapter 1: Hey, Where’s MY Drink Package?

“I’ll have another!” D.D. Duck put up his hand.

The barkeep squinted at him. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

The pour wasn’t too generous, but more than a strictly measured shot. Typical for a big city bar. Duck downed it quickly, but it didn’t drown out his regret.

“I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have gone there. I should’ve kept quiet. Then the whole thing never would’ve happened.”

The barkeep nodded. “Rough day?”

“Rough month.” Duck played with the empty shot glass. “Could have just kept my head down. Gone somewhere else. But nooooooo, I had to go there.”

The bartender nodded while serving other patrons.

Duck stared at the empty glass again. “I had a job. I had a life. It was boring, yeah, but it was fine,” he tried to convince himself, “before this…incident.”

The bartender caught his eye. “Where you from?”

Duck sighed. “South Georgia Island.”

“Huh. Never heard of it.”

Duck’s father’s face flashed before his eyes. What would he think of me now? Would he think it was right, what I just did? Was that what he was trying to say, all those times?

“Gimme one more.”

“You’re gettin’ close to the line, Buddy.” The barkeep stared into Duck’s eyes. Duck glared back, insistent. “OK, one more. Just one.”

The bartender served up another shot in a tumbler, which he slid down the bar. Duck caught it without flinching. The barkeep’s eyebrows shot up, taken aback by his patron’s reflexes. Then Duck opened up his bill and made the shot disappear.

Where am I going to go? What am I going to do?

* * * * * * *

Thirty minutes later, Duck was still staring down at the bar, muttering to himself. He looked up and noticed a sign on the wall for the first time.

DELICIOUS DRINK PACKAGE PAIRINGS!

$40

The picture displayed two different pairs of frosty beer/shot glass combos. Everything looked golden brown and delicious. To a drinker.

Duck raised his hand once again, and pointed at the sign. “I’ll have one of those!” he shouted.

“Oh no you won’t. You’re over the line already, Ducko.”

Duck’s feathers bristled a bit. “Oh give me a break, you’re in the Get People Drunk business and I wanna get drunk. Are you a bartender or a hall monitor?”

The bartender stood up straight and rolled up his sleeves. “One more line like that and you’re outta here.”

Duck knew he’d mouthed off and reached for that familiar instinct – keep quiet– but the alcohol bucked it. “One more line like what?”

The bartender snapped his fingers twice. A burly bouncer twice Duck’s size came bounding over. “Show him the street. He seems to want to see it up close.”

The bouncer yanked Duck airborne and dragged him towards the exit. Angry and despondent, Duck kept thinking to himself, I was having a pretty good time just a little while ago….